Day 2

I am writing about Day 2 a day late, but you know what? It doesn't matter. So, Day two was a BITCH. Excuse my language, but it really was. I thought day one was supposed to be the hardest day and then it would only get easier and easier as time goes on. WRONG! Day two was worse then day one and it was so bad I gave in and smoked a little bit of a cigarette. No, It wasn't the entire one, just a few drags. Ok, So I am going about this realistically. I probably will slip here and there. I am going to accept it. I am going to smoke if I really want to and I am not going to fail because I do. As long as I get right back on to quitting smoking then I don't see a problem with is. This may not be the ideal way to quit..but it is MY way and so far its working pretty well.

When I stopped seeing a guy I would slip once and a while and email or call them..but they are now completely out of my life. Sure, some memories might always be there but in all reality those urges are done with and now they are just memories. The more I think about how this quitting smoking thing is like breaking up with a guy the more it makes sense.

Sometimes as people we tend to want things we can't have. Like, thinking about smoking a cigarette when we are not supposed to will only make us want one more. Yes, I completely agree. My friend said something that has stuck with me. He said that everything is easy but it is when we think about it that makes it hard. Yes, that is exactly what is wrong..we think. By thinking it rules how much we fear something. I mean, if I didn't think about wanting a butt I probably wouldn't want one. This makes sense...I wonder if there is a way to stop thinking. Hmmm..No, it's not possible..but, I did find something that helped.

Remember when you would cry about how much someone hurt you and once you were done crying you felt so much better. Well, the reason this happened was because in some ways those tears were washing away the sadness. Whenever we cry it's the first step to getting over something. It is when we hold it in that it grabs us and doesn't let us move on. Well, I used this same method with smoking. Instead of not thinking about it and not talking about it..I talked about it and thought about it as much as possible. Yeah, this seems nuts, but hell, if your going to think about it on your own might as well share it with others. This is why I am writing this blog..to think out loud. Not to mention it offers me another reason why this time it is for real. Can you imagine if I didn't quit and then looked back at all of this stuff I have written? Oh my that would be probably the worst sense of failure I would ever feel.

So, I was stressed and I smoked a little. Big Whoop. It didn't stray me off my path, it only made me want to quit that much more. Are we really quitting anyways? Or is it that we just have to learn how to live without something? Might be the same, but I think quitting is permanent, when the latter is a little more realistic. Ok, so Day 2 is done..now on to Day 3!